Noob

Dear Future Kevin,

This rarely happens but last night at the supermarket, you saw this diamond in the ruff (or starfish in a sea of fish, or dolphin in a sea of whales, or a gummy bear in a bag of nuts.. well, you know what I mean) type of girl and you didn't make a move. Remember what she looked like? Yeah. Latin/Portuguese-looking half-Filipina. RARE here, buddy. That was an opportunity and you knew it right then you'd regret not hollering. So that was an opportunity gone, but in the future I'm pretty sure you'll know not to have to think twice. Moron.

Anyway, love you bro.

Past Kevin

P.S. You just had Canadian bacon for breakfast for the first time in months and it was wick-wick-wicked.